


The Cavalry's Fall

by DarkP1nk



Series: Russia's Cavalry [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Little bit of angst, casual portrayal of adorable lesbians, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-10 03:48:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10428462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkP1nk/pseuds/DarkP1nk
Summary: Tracer has the biggest crush in the world on her recently recruited teammate, Zarya. An embarrassing near-death experience convinces her to pursue what her heart wants, but Zarya's responses only confuse and frustrate her along the way.





	1. The Cavalry's A Mess

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a cute lil' origin story for my ship, yay. 
> 
> I updated this with almost 2000 more words and now it's almost as long as the fic that started me on writing all these.

You nearly just died. You really did. 

You’re in a small pile of rubble a short drop off from base, temporarily blinded from the light of the blast, but unscathed other than your ankle, which had just been snared in a carelessly thrown bear trap. 

You were doing what you always do; you stuck a pulse bomb and ran. A second later,  ‘boom’.

This time around, though, your enemy was waiting for you, and he caught you off-guard, and… 

You try to calm your breathing. You really nearly just died. Wow. You can still see your life flashing before your eyes, minutes later.

And how are you not even bleeding again? That’s right… 

Your vision’s beginning to return, and you realize someone else has been with you– no, you’re being _held_ by them–no, _her_ … 

“Tracer? Can you hear me?”

You can only see a pink blur looking down at you, but you recognize the accent.  

You’re pretty sure that’s Zarya, the soldier who was partnered with you for this assignment. You thought she was hiding somewhere keeping watch of the area, or – well, you’re not too sure right now what happened at all…

You’ve been after this one for a few months now, come to think of it… What a _strange_ time to think of it… 

She’s probably the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, but she’s also the most handsome. Handsomely beautiful… you don’t know because you’ve never seen such a thing until Zarya, but she’s fucking _hot_ and that’s your point.

You like her style, and you can’t help but stare when she’s out in her tight tank tops at the gym, lifting those heavy barbells like they must feel like feathers for her. You’ve flirted with her indirectly since she’s joined Overwatch, and when she picks up on it, you can tell she loves it. 

She’s thrown a few flirty lines at you before too, but she’s not really shy about that and you’ve seen her do it with others, so you’re not sure if she’s _really_ picking up on it. She’s so proud and her strength motivates you, but it motivates plenty of other Overwatch agents she’s befriended since she’s gotten here, and at times she can be full of herself; a trait you’d find annoying usually. 

In spite of that, you think you could honestly listen to this woman talk about herself all night if it meant more time to admire her arms, or her eyes, or to watch her laugh smugly at her own joke even if it wasn’t funny(And _you’d_ probably laugh at it anyway!). Ugh, you really think you could.

In your current state, however, you can barely speak, let alone hear anything. “uh.. hh..”

The other woman is still trying to get your attention, and you can barely make something out. 

“Tracer… say… something to me… how many fingers….?” You can’t actually see that she’s waving her hand and wiggling her fingers in front of your face at all. 

You absently respond, “..as many as you want, love…” as your eyes fall shut and your consciousness fades again.

—

You can quickly recognize that you’re in the infirmary back at your current watchpoint in Gibraltar when you gain awareness again. The past day is nothing but vague memories and blurry visions, but you’re feeling more like yourself after you got some rest. You can see and hear again, which is definitely an improvement from earlier. 

The first person you see is the Doc, the only person in the room with you. 

“Good morning, Lena!” She comes over to take your temperature and blood pressure.

“Mornin’, love.” You yawn a little as she finishes with your vitals and stretch your arms. When you try to stretch your legs, you realize your left leg is wrapped. 

Moving your foot hurts really sharply. You hiss a little from the pain of your discovery, “..’ey, doc, what happened? How long have I been out?”

Mercy can only laugh in a sympathetic tone as she turns to you from her desk. “Just a few hours, nothing abnormal.” She rotates her chair back toward her desk to continue entering data. “As for what happened, you might get a more substantial answer from Zarya. She’s the one who brought you in.”

Oh yeah… Zarya was there. You can remember just barely being aware that she was holding you after all of the chaos died down. You sit back and try to get comfortable in the bed again as you try to recall the events.

“Oh, and your ankle’s sprained really well. No broken bones, but your leg muscles were damaged and need to heal. You’re not going to be able to work–”

“Aww, rubbish!! Come on!!” You spring back up to attention with the rage of a child who was just grounded. You’re already annoyed that messed up your leg, and you’re on a medical suspension now? The worst thing they could do to you in this place is force you _not_ to be in the types of situations that cause these kinds of things in the first place; a sprained ankle can’t stop you! You can still fuck people up with one!  _Come on!_

You pout at the Doc, but she watches for you to be finished complaining before she continues.

“…You can’t work _on the field_ for a bit, darling. But knowing you, I tried to find you something to do on the base.” 

“Oh. That was thoughtful of you… Sorry I popped off a bit early there…” You feel yourself blushing, fidgeting a bit with the hem of one of your blankets. 

“What in the world did you find for me to do with one leg, though?”

Mercy checks a file in her computer, glancing back at you again. “The key word is ‘tried’… I couldn’t find any work for you, but I granted you walking privileges, so you won’t have to stay cooped up in your room.”

Your eyes light up at that and you bounce a bit in your seat. “Aw, you’re the best! Thanks, love!”

—

You appreciate the effort the doc put in to trying to keep you busy. At least you can access the watchpoint off-duty without supervision with your walking privileges. Whenever Overwatch agents aren’t actually on the clock, their fingerprints don’t unlock certain doors like the gym or the training areas; now you can at least _pretend_ you’re going to training too. 

Maybe you can catch some of your fellow heroes on their breaks and chat… You smirk to yourself when you realize, maybe you could catch _Zarya_ …. or if you can’t, you can just watch her from afar like you’ve already been doing all this time. Your predicament seems fairly easy to deal with with this one change, no matter how you think about it, and it just elevates your mood further. 

You kept your chronal accelerator on so you can get from A to B a bit quicker on crutches, but soon learn balancing yourself between blinks is going to take practice after nearly hitting a few walls and floors. 

You greet other soldiers going about their duties with a cheerful smile as you limp your way to the dining room for some lunch, reassuring any witnesses to your clumsiness that you’re fine and don’t need any help. (You really don’t; you’re actually having fun right now.)

As you’re getting to the swinging door leading to the kitchen, you note that you haven’t seen _her_ yet, but you’re sure you’re going to soon enough; Zarya is always moving, much like you, and you just haven’t moved into the same space at the same time yet.  

Speaking of which, the door you were about to push open swings toward you instead as Zarya is on her way out, the sudden force nearly knocking you over. You don’t actually fall, though; instead you desperately struggle to stay on your feet as you try to find your balance, stumbling and hopping about on your crutches and good foot with near-cat-like reflexes. 

“Wooaooah!!” You’re about to lose the fight and crash right onto your face. Oh Kaplan, right in front of her too, noo don’t…

“I’ve got you! It’s all right!” 

The bigger (much bigger) woman seems to have reflexes nearly as good as yours, you realize, as she’s able to reach you in time and hold you steady, letting you stabilize. 

After you catch your breath and let out a sigh of relief, you’re back to smiling; of course you are, the person you wanted to see literally just ran into you. “Thanks, love! That was close.” 

“I am so sorry, myshka!” Zarya gives you an apologetic hug, and you wish you could return it but you’re holding these damn crutches right now.  She’s not wearing her energy suit right now and you’re being squeezed _right into her tits_. There are fireworks and fanfares currently going off in your mind.

 _Myshka._ She calls _you_ that all the time, but nobody else.  You’ve always wondered what the hell she’s calling you in Russian, and if it’s dirty or insulting, but every time you want to ask about it, you just plain forget to do it.

When she lets you go, she continues to offer you some support with a hand on your shoulder as she’s looking your new injury over with a silly smirk that you’re kind of staring at but hoping she doesn’t notice. “Is this the damage from last night? Hah, look at this. You were barely scratched.” She pats your shoulder and you register that she’s looking at you a few seconds after she already asked, “How are you feeling?”

“…………feeling great, love!” Your answer is a bit robotic and concerns Zarya.

“…Are you sure?” She’s trying to lead you back into the dining room so you can probably continue where you had left off before this engagement. 

—

The two of you have a conversation at one of the tables as other heroes pass in and out of the room. Zarya has been trying to bring up the events of the night before, but you keep skipping over the topic and bringing it to work.

“…I feel like after our little adventure yesterday, you should start calling me Aleks instead of Zarya,” she comments casually. She’s waiting for what you think must be a more flamboyant reaction, but you just nod absently as you watch Torbjorn pull a chair out, grumbling to himself all the way, so he can reach the microwave. You glance over when you respond.

“Sure, love, I can call you Aleks. Call me Lena!” Cool, you guys are on a first-name basis. This is new. You like the name Aleks, which you can only imagine is short for Aleksandra. 

“I think I will just continue to call you Myshka,” Aleks jokes to you, preoccupied with her phone.

As you sip from a mug of tea, your eyes follow Jesse as he tips his hat in greeting to the two of you, then dramatically swaggers over to the coffee machine like he’s always in a Clint Eastwood movie, when Zarya takes your gaze back with a question. 

She’s giving you a damning smirk… “You don’t remember anything that you said, do you?” 

You can’t help but squint suspiciously at her, but you can’t imagine why she would make anything up. As you try to silently remember, you feel your heart pounding in your chest.

Dear sweet Jeff Kaplan, what did you say to her…?

“Aleks...” 

“What?”

“Tell me!”

“Tell you _what_ , myshka?” Zarya’s tone is painfully coy, and her smirk has gone from damning to menacing as she thumbs through pictures on her phone. You’re trying not to make your impatience obvious. She’s beaten around the bush or just plain avoided all of your questions, and you can’t imagine why.

The unnecessary vagueness here is giving you a headache, and you can only glare at the other woman while you rub your temple. “...Oi, I’m about ta tell _you_ somethin’ in a minute...” 

She watches as Pharah and Mercy sit at a nearby table in their gym clothes, waves at them, and refuses to respond, or look, to you after that. You politely greet the two yourself, but your face is uninterested in hiding your frustration from them.

And then-- Is this woman serious right now? Is she-- Is she getting up!? 

You watch as Aleks puts her phone in her pocket and rises up from the table. You’re pretty sure she knows exactly what she’s doing as she starts to walk to the door. 

You’re dying to grab her by the shirt and sit her back down, but you glance over at Pharah and the Doc, who are idly chatting amongst themselves but obviously watching the both of you. As far as you know, nobody knows about your feelings for this woman, or even how deep that rabbit hole goes with you, and you can only imagine that they’re perceiving a different scenario than what they really walked into.

“Well, I’ll see you later, Tracer. Stay off that foot. I’m going off to work out now.”

Before you can respond, or even turn your head, she’s left. 

You listen as her footsteps fade and squint your eyes at the still-swinging door. You can’t believe she just teased you with something you did when you thought you were gonna _die_. That’s _so_ cruel. 

You’re going after her later and getting answers. She just introduced herself formally to you, and there’s nothing you can possibly imagine as to why she would. 

Though, you just learned something new about Aleks; she’s a bit of a sadist. Wonderful.

“Feeling better, Tracer? I heard about the accident,” Pharah calls, a few seconds after silence fills the room. 

You try to soften your expression and forget about Zarya for the moment, giving the other woman an appreciative smile. “Yeah, I’m doin’ much better. Already on my feet again and I only came out of there with one of ‘em working.” 

“I see that,” Pharah’s eyes are on your foot when she says this. “It’s never an easy task to pin _you_ down for long. I saw you earlier dancing about on your way here, too.” She chuckles; the Doc finds it worth giggling at too.

As you get yourself up carefully to hop to a nearby counter for one of the apples in the fruit basket, Pharah asks, “What happened, exactly?”

You decide you want to lean against the counter and eat the apple instead of sitting back down. Your crutches are close enough to reach for when you’re ready to leave. 

“Your guess is as good as mine, love. I’m still trying to find out from A--” You catch yourself and look at the floor, your nails digging into your apple. “--uh, from Zarya. Couldn’t get it out of her just yet.” 

“...what are you blushing about?” Oh Kaplan, that tone... You feel so naked right now. She can see you’re blushing, and if you immediately say ‘nothing!!’ like you want to, it’ll just be obvious you’re hiding something, and you might have to-- _nooope, nope._  

Your only defense is to quickly shove the apple straight into your face, take a huge bite, and chew as slowly as possible to delay your ability to speak, in hopes that the topic changes or someone else walks in. 

\---

You got out of the kitchen alive, and you were even able to deflect the topic you were trying to avoid. You’re just amazing at solving problems and you don’t think you give yourself enough credit sometimes.

You think an hour or so is all you spent between then and now and the sun’s starting to head west(Come to think of it, you’re surprised now that McCree never mentioned the time back in the kitchen.), and you’re considering just retiring to your room for a bit and watching YouTube. 

...or even, you dare think, _take a nap_. _Ooh, scary..._

Zarya is probably still at the gym, and you’re about to walk by on your way to the barracks. You consider bothering her to give up the information you wanted... but you think you can hold off if she’s terribly busy. 

You try not to make it obvious to anyone passing by, or to her (if she’s looking your way), that you’re trying to canvass the gym from the corner of your eye. After all this time of near-stalking Zarya, you’ve become really good at that.

The further into the gym you get, the less visible it is. Only the outer walls facing you are windows; if your pink-haired friend is anywhere else, she would be undetectable from any angle you could get out here, even with the brightly colored beacon she calls her hair to look out for. 

Just when you think she’s probably busy somewhere in the back of the gym, you can see her and Reinhardt emerging from the weight room, towels around their necks and gym bags in hand. She’s waving him off, apparently, and he leaves the gym and sees you coming toward the door. You balance on a crutch and salute him as he leaves for the mens showers. 

As you’re returning your attention back to the inside of the gym, you see Aleks has noticed you too, and consider blinking all the way to your room when she gestures to you to wait for her.

\---

“I have a lot of questions...” you warn the woman who has been accompanying you to your room, slightly out of breath with the workout you’ve been getting using your arms to move. 

She responds, simply, “I know you do.” 

Her hand on your shoulder makes it a lot easier to keep up on your crutches, though; she’s almost carrying you with the amount of weight she’s able to support just with one hand on you.  You’ve invited her to hang out with you in your room for a few hours before she heads out to her own.

“I don’t know if I like that tone...” you taunt a bit, smirking, but you figure she must just want to be completely alone with you to talk. You can only hope.

Her room is apparently nearby, but she shares it with D.Va, who is constantly on the computer playing video games, so Zarya tries to let her be unless she needs something. She can get a bit loud when she’s yelling at people on the internet though, you learned during your walk, and that’s why you always see her trying to stay occupied everywhere but her room sometimes late in the evening, when you would expect everyone to be retiring for the night. 

You’re a bit curious as to why she’d feel the need to mention that, but don’t think so much of it. 

You’ve finally reached your door, and the two of you get comfortable inside your room. Since you’re always moving watchpoints, you can only bring what you can carry around with you, but all the Overwatch soldiers still find time to make homes out of the tiny boxes they end up with each time - yourself included. You got a bunk bed like everyone else, but no roommate, so your bottom bunk was repurposed into a place to sit across from a television and a computer desk. You’re probably just going to sleep on the lower level while your ankle’s healing at the moment.

You watch Aleks inspect your decor from your bottom bunk with an eyebrow raised. You’re bouncing a bit impatiently on the mattress. 

“Well, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be telling me everything now.”

“Beeee patient, myshkaaa...” she responds as she’s admiring a photo you stuck to a wall around your computer.

She tries to look to you for a reaction, and you can see her expression change when the fact that you’re done with her jokes seems to register for her. “Okay, fine... Sorry.”

As she comes to sit with you, kicking her gym bag out of the way of either of your feet, you relax against a cushion and pull another into your lap to pick at it a bit. She watches that while she makes herself at home and lays across the remaining portion of mattress. 

You mentally shake your head at her shamelessness, but you know she’s just trying to get a rise out of you, and you try to keep her waiting for any.

“I am sorry I waited this long to tell you that you kissed me yesterday.”

You think your heart might have just stopped. You can feel your body get cold. “...Are you _bloody fucking_ with me, love?” 

Zarya’s laughing and you’re beyond embarrassed right now; no wonder she didn’t tell you in front of everyone. As her laughter rolls her onto her back, you only look on with a near-traumatized expression.

How could she laugh at that!? At you!?

You bury your face in your pillow and you kind of want to tell her to get out...

“Myshka...” She tosses an arm in your direction as she’s calming down, and you look down at her sprawled body, almost to tears. “I’m so sorry... Don’t be upset. You don’t have to be ashamed of it!”

“Za--...Aleks...” You’ve gotten really used to that already. “I thought that was it for me. I don’t remember a thing after the bomb went off.”

She sits up to rub your shoulder and join you up-right again, wiping a tear of laughter from her eyes. You try to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Listen, Lena...” 

Your heart flutters a bit. That’s the first time you’ve heard her say your real name. 

“...when tensions are high on the battlefield, one can do things one never does in one’s right mind. I understand why you did it.”

Your fluttering heart sinks. “I do not see it as anything but your gratitude.”

You could just correct her, you’re thinking... You really want to. But is now really the time? 

Clearly the first name thing was a joke, now that you know the details. You would look like such an idiot if you’ve been misreading all the flirting all these months. You’re not sure you can handle the rejection so soon after something like yesterday.

“Mm... well, you did save my life,” you half-heartedly respond. She’s oblivious to it. “Still haven’t got the foggiest about how you did it, but...”

 You feel her arm across your back as she reaches for your other shoulder, giving you a squeeze. She flexes her free arm’s bicep; you take the opportunity to admire it with her knowledge and encouragement for once. 

“Because I am Mother Russia, and I can do anything. That is how I did it, my myshka.”

The answer snaps you out of your anxiety and makes you giggle. You suppose you can get more serious details about this another time; you got what you needed for now, and it was quite more than you were even expecting. Her mixed signals are truthfully starting to get to you, but that conversation really isn't something you think should be taking place until you're more certain about the entire situation, and definitely after you get that nap you were considering before.

“...’Ey, by the way...” You elbow Zarya gently, finally remembering to ask one of your questions. “What’s myshka?”

“Oh, just my nickname for you.”

“What’s it mean, though? In English?” You tilt your head curiously now and look to her.

“Oh... ‘little mouse’,” she smirks back at you.  “Because you are tiny and quick...” 

You giggle again, and can’t help your obviously dopey smile when she elbows you back. “...and cute, like a little mouse.”

"Aw.." You nudge her once more. "Thanks, love."

You kind of wish you could tell her just how cute she is to you, but every time you even think about it, your heart just starts to pound in your chest all over again.


	2. The Cavalry's Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tracer has bonded with Zarya over the months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter broke and now it's short as fuuuuuck.

****

You’re hugging one of your pillows to yourself in bed really late in the night. The lights are out but your phone illuminates your face in bed as you’re tapping at the screen at superhuman speeds, but this is kind of a thing for you lately.

The accident you had with the bear trap has been history for almost a month, and since then, your ankle has healed and you’ve been back on your feet and working as usual.

You’ve even gotten a lot closer to Aleks; more so than you thought was even possible after the actual accident happened. She eventually explained her heroic deed in detail to you and you consequently learned a lot more about that massive laser beam she calls a gun, and what those blue bubbles she likes to use on you in combat do.  (You really think she _can_ do anything, just like she said...)

The way she had made it seem to you that night was so vague, and even though the two of you have exchanged your phone numbers now, and even though neither of you can seem to end your text conversations, like the one you’re having in bed at the moment, at nearly 2 in the morning...

...all she ever does is _flirt_ , even still, and you can’t help but imagine, with a pain in your chest, that she keeps such a distance because she might be doing the same with others. (At the moment, thank Kaplan, you’ve yet to witness it in person.)

You’re not really accustomed to being in this position; a relationship was never something you thought you had time for, and sometimes you wonder if you might be wasting it now doing this. Zarya could possibly hold a similar sentiment, and all of the emotional turmoil you’ve been dealing with would have just been in vain; like you’re chasing this woman when you’ve known all along it would end with you being heartbroken.

You may be unsinkable to the rest of the crew all the time, but you feel like Zarya could take your optimism into her hands and crush it to dust without effort. She’s one of the only people who knows some of the things you’ve told her.

You, being a bit naive, and getting into a situation with someone this hard to read, are really risking a lot.  

Your conversations have never become more than what friends, sometimes sisters, would share, but you learned so much about Aleks that you have in common with her, and the two of you can exchange texts for hours about the silliest things sometimes without realizing it. 

She’s come to spend the night at your room on plenty of nights when D.Va wouldn’t let her get any sleep, and the two of you would fall asleep with the TV still going, after watching really old wrestling episodes and laughing at the cheesy performances or discussing the absurd plots (And how you both know very well that they’re absurd, and that it’s all an act, but you both get so into it anyway). 

She’ll sleep on the bunk you use as a makeshift couch on those nights and you’re not gonna lie; you’ve watched her sleep once or twice and have nearly suffered heat strokes at the sight. It’s like you’re beholding a goddess. 

Your phone buzzes again after you take a while to respond, and when you read the messages, you become conscious of the time again. It’s three in the morning now. 

 ****

As you’re setting your phone down to try and sleep a little bit, it lights up again and you quickly check the message. 

 ****

It makes you giggle tiredly to yourself; once in a while she kisses you good night.

 

 


	3. The Cavalry's Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tracer finds out Zarya has to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter I added most heavily to. It desperately needed more.

You find out that she’s going to be leaving the next morning, and you’re actually devastated...

She didn’t tell you herself - you overheard Reinhardt talking about it with her on their way to the gym. You wonder if she’ll even say bye to you, and how, and your mood isn’t at 100% right now. 

You’d rate it more a 25... a 30 if you don’t want to be dramatic.

What’s worse, it seems you’re starting to give off signs of your crush. Pharah and the Doc at least keep poking you about your mood when it’s slightly more elevated than normal, after you might have just seen or talked to Aleks. She's so good at doing that, and you're sure you've been caught once or twice daydreaming with a wistful look as you're training, or flirting more-than-obviously with her while you're on breaks. 

You’re starting to think you need to come clean to them, because if anyone could give you relationship advice, it would be the happily married pair. They're both a good decade or two your senior, and you've known them to be together since before you even joined Overwatch, so they have to know something.  

After arguing with yourself in the mirror to stop being such a pussy all morning, you decide to start the dialogue with Fareeha after you both run some laps on the training field.

"So, uh..." You make sure nobody else is within earshot and lower your voice as much as you can. "I... _really_ fancy Zarya."

“I knew _something_ was up with you and Zarya.” Pharah chuckles and grabs your hand to give it a quick squeeze of reassurance, as the two of you are talking on your way to get Mercy for lunch. “I didn’t want to assume, though.”

You give her a meek smile, a bit shaken after telling someone else for the first time that you’re not only _mostly_ \--no, probably _completely_ attracted to other women (It just never came up before, and you were actually blown away that Fareeha _seriously never picked up on it._ ), but that you’ve had your eyes on Aleks for months. The words have never been synthesized by the vibrations of your vocal chords before.

“Well... Guess I’m out of the closet now, huh?”

“So, does Zarya know anything? I’ve seen you two spending a lot of time together.” The other woman glances to you as you walk and you glance back, after saluting a sprinting-by Jack. 

“Mm, that’s kinda why I’m bringing this up to ya, love... She’s got something to do at Volskaya and she’s leaving tonight. I don’t know when I’ll see her aga-- just a sec...”

Your phone buzzes in your pocket and when you check the message, you have to quickly put it away again. Zarya’s spamming you with selfies at the gym and you really can’t be looking at those right now. "Uh.. I.." 

Pharah barely catches this and raises her eyebrow, but says nothing. 

\--- 

“Oh...” Mercy gives you a tight hug. “Why didn’t you come to one of us sooner!? I feel so terrible.”

The three of you have been talking together at a far table in the kitchen over lunch, and the reactions you’ve gotten have been surprising, to say the least. You honestly had no idea there was this much support to be found in your two closest teammates. 

You’re so moved, you can’t help but to tremble in your seat as the emotions overwhelm you, and it only concerns Angela and Fareeha; but to your relief, they haven’t been overbearing. 

 _They’re right, though_ , you keep in mind; you should have been more open about your thoughts with someone sooner, because this is just what happens when you keep them in.

“You don’t have to feel bad, Doc,” you try to smile and ignore the buzzing in your pocket as your phone constantly goes off. “It was kinda my fault, really. I just wish I had the nerve to say something about it to Aleks. That’s kinda why I brought this up to you guys in the first place.”

“What, are we supposed to be experts?” The Doc teases. 

“Well...” You motion to the gold band on her finger. “I mean, I’m not thinkin’ about _that_ yet, but _you_ got there somehow.”

Both Angela and Fareeha laugh, and you chuckle softly... but you couldn’t lie to yourself; deep down, you know you’ve entertained the idea of getting to ask Aleks to marry you eventually. You try to bury your self-indulgence and stay grounded, though; that's not for a long time, and at the moment it seems like it'll always be just an idea that you entertain, among many others (of varying levels of appropriateness, you admit).

Angela rubs your shoulder. "From what I've seen and heard, you're both already close. Don't you trust her enough to talk to her?" 

"Of course I do." Your eyes are wandering the table, and your discarded sandwich scraps in your plate. "I can never figure out what she's thinking, though, and she never shares. I swear she's flirtin' with me but--"

"Ask her," Fareeha interrupts you. "It's the only way for you to know for sure. You can't beat yourself up wondering about it. What if you're wrong?"

"To tell you the truth, love..."

You trail off. You try to fight back the sudden doom darkening your thoughts, but you can only whimper in defeat and hold your head in your trembling arms.

A moment ago, you were hopeful about this... but now your friends' suggestions are making you want to cry.

You'd _love_ to ask Aleks... That's what you've wanted to do since the day she felt the need to tell you about your kiss of "gratitude", but even imagining that it's been a game to her all this time pushes your mind somewhere a bit too dark and hopeless for you right now. You can feel a hand on your shoulder again; your lengthy silence communicates your sudden shift in mood to the two other women.

Between faint, reluctant sobs, your tears fall onto the table as you finally answer Pharah.

"...my heart would be... _so_ broken... if I was wrong."

\---

Your conversation continues until lunch is over, and you walk out of the kitchen learning a lot about two of your friends; Not only do they have great advice, and are really supportive when you're sad, but they’re really adorable when they’re together talking about how much they love one another. 

As you check the missed messages on your phone, you picture yourself doing that one day, but the 'what ifs' make it a little hard to smile at the thoughts even after they helped cheer you up more than once.

What in the... You’re distracted from your melancholy as you read your screen with an eyebrow raised. Were you really ignoring the phone this long?

 ****

You roll your eyes a bit with a silly smile; what an attention whore. You make fun of yourself in your head as you realize that reading the messages from Aleks just made you smile, and you can feel that familiar fluttering in your chest as you read on. 

After those, there was a ten minute delay or so before the next set of texts.

 ****  
  
Five more minutes passed.  
  
****  
  
You snicker and say to yourself, “I was, ya genius...” 

 ****

Huh... You must admit it makes you curious. 

\---

“Shhh...”

Zarya turns to you quickly and puts a finger to her lips after she looks around the corner of a wall. “The enemy will hear us! Your laughter will get us killed!” 

The woman has been leading you through the training grounds with her cannon drawn, low to the ground and acting like it’s real. It’s been cracking you up as you try to play along, but she’s so good at keeping the act up that it only makes you laugh more.

You’ve only managed to get a smirk in response as Aleks does her best not to laugh with you. She loves to dramatize training when she's with you and it sometimes leads you to picture her on a battlefield littered with bodies like one of those testosterone-pumped war movies. As terrible as it is to laugh at such a scene, it's way too funny in your head.

D.Va finished her training a while ago and she’s been watching the two of you between checking her social media accounts on her phone. She’s the only other one with you two, and she hasn’t really bothered you, but she seems to be getting a kick out of Aleks’ dramatization as well.

You try as hard as possible to compose yourself after a fit of giggles and get into character with your 'commander'.  

“Sorry, love, I don’t know what came over me!”

You draw your own pistols and twirl them in your hands. Zarya might be some kind of glorious war heroine, but you're gonna play Tracer; she's your best character.

“Welcome back, soldier. Focus on our objective." The woman doesn't even break character. She's such a dedicated performer. 

She points around the corner of the wall the two of you are ducked behind, at an obstacle course ahead. She takes another quick look around the corner and winces at the sight. Her voice is fatigued and solemn.

“Almighty Kaplan... It's _terrible_. We're too late. They've decimated our unit. We're the only ones alive. Do you see them?”

You stick your head around the corner, and Zarya gasps, yanking you back to cover by a strap of your accelerator. 

“You FOOL! Not too far, that could have been your head! Gone! One shot!”

You turn to your captain and salute her. “You’re right! I’m sorry ma’am!”

She narrows her eyes and barks, “For the love of Mother Russia, stop apologizing! You do not get a second chance out here! This is WAR.”

“...Yes ma’am!” You salute again. She takes this so seriously, you admit you sometimes wonder if she's actually getting angry at you.

Judging from the sounds of Hana at the table giggling like a chipmunk, probably not.

Captain Zaryanova points again as she briefs you. “There is an infestation of _disgusting, dirty_ _omnics_ over there, and it's up to us to destroy them all. We are the sole salvation of humanity.”

“They’re not omnics,” D.Va calls, “They’re training robots, it’s different.”

Aleks gives the girl a dirty glare, then pulls you in to whisper to you.

“She’s working with the omnics to confuse us. Don’t let her get in your head.” She looks over to Hana again and smiles to her. She waves back, and then Aleks looks back at you, her expression hardened. 

“ _We cannot trust her._ ”

You cover your mouth as you try not to laugh, and listen to your instructions.

“We must split up from here. Get into position,” she points to a platform up a few flights of stairs, overlooking the area where six or seven training bots are just roaming about. You follow with your eyes.

“I will wait on the ground for your signal. Then, I will trap them in a graviton, and you drop a bomb.”

Your eyes blink twice as she explains. “...That’s bloody brilliant, love.” It never occurred to you that you could combine your tactics like that, and you've known and trained with each other for months now.

As she turns to give you one of her cheeky smirks, you see an absurdly cinematic glint in her eyes.

“Mother Russia always has the best ideas.”

Oh Kaplan, does the smugness ever end with her? You shake your head at her and take the stairs to wait in your position, watching over the railing as Zarya dramatically sneaks closer to the training bots that aren’t gonna care how she approaches them anyhow.  When she's in her spot, you give her a wave to let her know you're ready, then you watch the robots for the upcoming assault while your thumbs brush over the activation switch on your bomb.

That's when you hear the loud ‘pop’ of her cannon as it fires a graviton and get to watch it fall, almost perfectly, in the center of the bots. All six of them get pulled in and orbit the black hole, crashing into each other in the process, and you can’t imagine how painful that would be if they were people. (You've seen Aleks do this to humans before, but not so many...) 

Among the clanking and grinding noises, you hear, “Fire at will, myshka!”

The ‘myshka’ catches you off guard and actually makes you blush a bit, but you don’t miss your cue and toss your activated bomb into the mess of bots. As it explodes, you dive out of the way of debris as it’s projected in every angle imaginable...

...and that’s when you’re surrounded by one of her particle barriers. You always dive out of the way, or blink out if you can, but now you take your opportunity to sit up and watch robot parts crash against the walls of the active plasma bubble, causing its bluish membrane to ripple around you. That is so cool.

It only seems to last a few seconds, but it shields you long enough for the worst of the damage to be over with before it pops and vanishes. Once the smoke in the obstacle course clears, you glance over the railing again to see what you’ve done. The area the two of you used is a complete mess of robot parts and scraps of metal and wood, and definitely needs to be closed off and repaired, but this is exactly what the training range is for; you can actually consider what you see a 'good job'. 

As for combining tactics... You’ve been able to kill two birds with one pulse bomb before, so to speak, but Zarya’s trick really maximizes its effectiveness. You grin to yourself at the possibilities; this is going to be really fun to practice. 

“Ah! I’ve been hit!”

...Can't practice if your partner's dead, though. You gasp in genuine fear and blink all the way back down to the ground floor to look for Zarya, and find her laying on the ground where she was. After you get a good enough look, you calm down immediately. 

She’s not really hurt; she’s still in character. The worst of her injuries appears to be a shallow scratch in her shoulder, but it's bleeding and she's milking it like an Oscar-winning drama queen.

After rolling your eyes once again from a safe enough distance, you rush to her side and drop to your knees to examine the scratch as the blood is beginning to run down her arm, determined to match her dedication to your own role. “Oh Kaplan, don't move it! You’re gonna be all right, Cap! Hold on and I’ll call for help!” 

“No...  don’t waste your time...” She coughs for some extra drama, her voice weak. “I am not going to make it... Just get out of here.... save... yourself....”

You watch her dying slowly on the floor with a feigned look of horror, and it occurs to you suddenly that you have just as much power as Aleks has to twist the plot of this roleplay.

What if this war drama... was a _romantic_ drama?

You wonder how developed Zarya's character is for a moment. The two of you do this all the time, and you bet she'd really appreciate your attention to detail. She's never claimed to be married...

Well, now she is; to Tracer.

You grab her hand and squeeze it in between yours, crying, “No! I’m not abandoning you.... I _love_ you!” 

The way it falls out of your mouth is much too sincere, and you get the feeling that the woman below you sensed that, even in the middle of such a dedicated act. Your heart is suddenly pounding, but you remind yourself to blame it on the bomb if she asks about it, repeating it over and over in your mind to ensure you memorize your excuse. 

“...But our children, my wife... You have to raise them... so they can... avenge me...”

She squeezes your hand and coughs again, and you try to keep your cool. She must not have caught what you thought she did... She must think you were just kidding.

As much as she makes you want to laugh with her jokes, the realization of what you've done kind of makes you want to die......

 _Might as well kill yourself,_ you think.

You pull your pistol from its holster and hold it to your temple, trying to focus on the game you're playing again.

“I don't care about our children, Aleks! I didn't actually want 'em!"

Aleks gasps weakly, then responds casually as her life is draining away. "......neither did I. Forget them."

Okay, you didn't think she was going to say that. Your lips tremble as you hold your laughter in. "Then it's settled! The government can take them and do what they want with ‘em! I refuse to live without you!”

“If you insist, my darling! I will stop living first!” And then she dies, her hand going limp in yours and everything. You can almost hear the audience's ovation.

A couple of giggles escape you as you elaborately pretend to shoot yourself dead with your own gun. "Pew!" Your body collapses over Zarya’s, but has a lot more spasms than she did; in fact, you apparently have a seizure as you die. 

She starts to laugh hysterically, and you finally join her. She hugs you tightly as you're on top of her, and one of her hands lands on the back of your head. It sends ice down your spine.

You feel her pull away with alarm before long, like it was an accident, and you catch her blushing when you look at her face. She probably feels her face heating up because she kind of avoids your gaze as she sits up, but says nothing about what she did. She actually says nothing at all.

“So..... Are you guys done acting like lesbians?”

You sit up and look back over at Hana, who had been recording the scene with her phone. As the both of you give each other a confused stare, you mentally thank Kaplan she broke the silence, and try to act natural as you stand up to leave.

\---

You’re on your way back toward the quarters with Aleks and Hana, laughing and going over what happened in training.

Of course, you bring up everything except the end, and there's an awkwardness between Zarya and you that hasn't left since. Your heart has felt frozen as it pounds away in your chest; it hasn't stopped since then either.

You part ways when you reach your room and once you’re inside, you jump straight into the shower. 

Your fake laughter is gone once you’re alone, and you find yourself under the hot water a bit longer than you might have stayed there as you’re going over what you just did... Wow, you actually can’t believe you did it.

You can’t believe you did that, and she just played along... once again, you had your chance, and instead, you let her think it was an act.  _Why are you such an idiot sometimes, Lena?_  

And the way she responded... what was it? You're so sure she got the wrong idea, but she never said anything, so how the fuck are you supposed to know!?

"You don't tell me _anything!!_ " You pound at the shower wall and sob under the water, resting your forehead against your fist. "And now I... I fucked up.... I fucked this all up..."  

The urge to cry hysterically finally wins its fight and you sob under the water until you can calm yourself down. After what feels like an hour, you step out of the shower and wrap yourself in a towel. The cool air in your room chills you a bit as you throw some loose clothes on. 

You suddenly recall the time Aleks made fun of you for calling some nights at Gibraltar ‘cold’, and you grab your phone from the kitchen counter once you finish making yourself a cup of cocoa and curl up on your bottom bunk. You kind of just want to read them again, for memory’s sake, even if it just depresses you all over again. 

You notice, then, that you missed another message from Aleks.

 **♥ Zarya:**  lena  
**♥ Zarya:**  can i come over?

Just as you finish reading, she knocks on the door.

\---

You made more cocoa for both of you, and the TV’s on while you cautiously talk about the day. You hold your mug in your lap and fidget with the handle while you sit with Aleks on your bottom bunk. 

She isn’t in the same mood she was in just a few hours earlier. Though she had been joking around and being silly with you, she just sits quietly more often than not, looking like she’s left her body. 

She’s dressed like she has to go somewhere, in some cargo pants and a hoodie, and you realize you think you know why she came over. You don’t want it to be obvious that you overheard, though.

You frown when you see she hasn’t even touched her cocoa, and she _always_ loves when you make cocoa...

The two of you are quiet for a while after you finished your initial chat. Just as you’re wondering if you should try to break the ice, Aleks does:

“There is something I think you should know, Lena....”

You give her your attention when she starts, your mug to your lips. “Mm?”

She sighs and rubs her face, and you get the feeling she’s not joking around this time; whatever she wants to say seems a lot more stressful than just ‘hey, I’m gonna be in Russia for Kaplan-knows how long.’ You honestly can’t imagine what it is. 

You shift yourself closer to her body and try to rub her shoulder, and you can feel that she’s trembling... She’s nervous? 

“...Love?”

You see her crack a smile, and she laughs a bit, still avoiding your gaze. “I.. I’m sorry, I didn’t think I would be this shy.”

The two of you have learned plenty of things about each other over the past months, but one thing you know, especially now, is how rarely Zarya ever shares things from her heart. Sure, she talks about herself, and her interests, and sure you’ve memorized them all... but whenever it comes to her innermost thoughts, she keeps to herself, and you’ve never bothered her too much to share. You know she does tend to hint at her thoughts a lot, though, without ever being direct.

You continue to rub her shoulder, wanting to help... Have you been missing anything? You think about the past few days, and the way that she’s talked to you. Come to think of it, she has been acting a lot sillier. 

Maybe, you think, it’ll help to be silly with her now, like you were earlier. You smile to yourself as you’re thinking about it again. You hadn’t had fun like that in a while, even if it ended how it did...

“Oi! Did I just hear what I think I heard? From Mother Russia herself? Shy!?” You nudge her shoulder playfully with yours. You look at her face for some kind of reaction; she just shakes her head with a smirk. 

“Even the strongest woman alive can have a weakness, myshka.”

Your eyes narrow in thought as you’re searching her face. This conversation isn’t about her assignment at all... but there’s no way she could be meaning to do what you’re imagining. 

Even so, something is burning within you right now to just take this opportunity. It’s right here, in your face, and you’re aware it is. You have her with you and she needs the comfort. She’s letting you give that to her. 

This could be your last chance to talk to her. You can’t keep second-guessing Aleks’ intentions, or this is just going to go on forever...

“Aleks...” You’re shaking almost just as much as she is now, and you almost don’t feel like your hand is a part of your body as it’s reaching to stroke the other woman’s cheek. 

She turns to look at you, and that’s when you steal a kiss that you’ve wanted ever since you’ve met this woman. You can feel her surprised reaction on first contact... but to your relief, she only pulls you into her lap to make it easier for you, and you honestly think you’re melting in her arms when you feel her kissing you back.

When her hand touches your head like it did earlier, you feel tingling all across your skin as goosebumps start to cover your body. That was exactly what you felt the first time, and you're sure of its meaning now. Even with the affirmation, you’ve never done something this bold, and you’re terrified you might be dreaming this all up. 

You kiss one another for much longer than you imagined, and as your arms encircle her neck, you realize that Aleks isn’t shaking anymore; she’s just holding you firmly against her, and you can sense that what you did helped her recompose herself when you finally pull away to look at her face.

You’ve never been this close to her face, or her verdant eyes. She really is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, and right now it feels like you're both communicating without words.  

That's when she starts using her words. “...I have to go, Lena.” 

You sigh, and all you can really do is collapse against her body as she’s holding you. “I know... I heard this morning.” You start to think what you've done wasn't the best idea when you're going to have to say goodbye right after.

She takes your hand quietly, and as she strokes your knuckles with her thumb, you think she’s admiring how it looks in hers. You can only clutch blindly onto it as your face is buried in her chest.

“I want you to come with me.”

And now you sit up and stare at her, feeling your heart nearly stop yet again. This woman is just full of fucking surprises.


	4. Mother Russia's Cavalry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tracer's ordeal ends, what do you know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure glad that ended well. I was worried it wouldn't. There definitely aren't any other stories I've written that give away the conclusion of this story.

You may have thought you were bold when you kissed Aleks, but just as always with the woman, you were one-upped by her on boldness when she asked you to join her on her assignment at the last minute.

You had spent your past few weeks completely missing all of the things that, now that you think about it, were the most obvious signs for you to notice. Her interest in things you like, the training ‘dates’, the kissy-face smilies…

(Kaplan Almighty, how did you seriously not get it when she started with the kissy-faces? You just want to hang yourself.)

And just earlier, you thought you were going to spend an indefinite amount of time at Gibraltar with all that company gone… you were preparing yourself for weeks, possibly months, of pining for a woman who didn’t even know you’ve fallen so deeply for her, only to continue your pining when she returned, never to admit your feelings.

Instead, you’re in a hotel room with her in fucking Russia, making out on a bed, after a day of sight-seeing and bar-hopping. Who would have thought, huh?

There was no time to talk; only enough for you to gather what you needed. She had waited until the absolute last minute to ask you to be her partner for the assignment she was given, which you found out was just a month or so at Volskaya supervising the factory. Depending on how it went, others would join the two of you or you would just go back to the base at Gibraltar. 

(She was going to try and talk to you when you got to the hotel, but, well… you kind of expedited things back there.)

“I had no idea, Lena…” Aleks had explained, on the airplane, red in the face. “I didn’t see any signs. Until earlier, I didn’t think you would…”

“…didn’t think I would what?” She refused to finish the sentence, but finally mustered up the nerve to.

“I didn’t think you would go for someone like me…” she said, looking away from you. You had wondered what she meant by that; because she was a woman? Because of her personality? 

You found out, well, both. (How in the fuck did nobody notice you’re a lesbian, though!?)

“But then I felt you shaking when you took my hand…” She smirked to herself as the memory replayed for her. “Right after you said you love me… I had the feeling that maybe it was not part of our game.”

“Wow,” you laughed, plucking at threads on Aleks’ glove as you fidgeted with her hand in your lap. She was curling her fingers and moving them around for you like she had picked up on the habit, but that was just one of many things you found out she had been memorizing about you. “I was beating myself up for that, you know…”

As painful as it was to realize that you could have made it a lot easier on both of you to have been a little less shy about your thoughts(Though, to be fair, so could Aleks, and you aren’t fully to blame here.), there has been a new sense of serenity that the two of you have had in each other’s company ever since you’ve really gotten to be alone. 

Sure, you were able to hang out and watch TV on base, and sure, you’re working right now, but a big difference is that nobody (that you know, at least) is watching you two - you’re the watchers this time around, and you get a room to yourselves every single night for a month.  

You feel like in a matter of hours, you’ve grown to trust Aleks so deeply that you can tell her anything, and you really feel like you’ve earned the same trust back from the way she’s been talking; you get this feeling that you’ve almost won a game and unlocked something nobody was ever good enough to reach. 

The most surreal feeling for you, though, has to be the sense that the woman really reveres you; she holds you like you’re made of glass, kisses you like she’s been doing it for years, and you can feel how much she feeds off of your energy every time. 

You don’t think you’ve ever understood what it was to feel truly safe with someone until now. (Yes, even after she’s protected you from so many blasts with her barriers.) 

Aleks took you on a tour of the town you’re staying in after you settled your things in the hotel, and just like she promised, she bought you the warmest, most comfortable coat you’ve ever owned. You still have it on now, as you’re laying on top of her; she could barely get through the door with you before you pounced her for more kisses. You’ve honestly lost track of how long you’ve found it near-impossible to keep your lips off of hers.

Even with the coat on, though, and even inside of a hotel room, Russia’s freezing air penetrates, and you’re shivering in Aleks’ arms. She doesn’t let it happen for long before she gives you a smug grin and says exactly what you expected her to say as you roll your eyes:

“Tell me it gets cold in Gibraltar now.”

All you can respond with, as you cuddle against her body for warmth, is “Oh, shut up.”

Her pleased laughter shakes the both of you and you giggle to yourself, your face buried in her chest; you wonder how long she’s been planning to say that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY... THIS FEELS REALLY SHORT HUH? -winkwinknwikwienik-
> 
> But honestly it's kind of just an 'origin story' of how they became girlfriends and they're girlfriends now, so the story's over now. 
> 
> Also now you know what 'myshka' means, and where Zarya got the wife meme from.


End file.
